In life, there are so many paradoxes. Even the opposite of any situations seems to be right in some cases. We believe in nurturing a relationship most of the time. Need to take care of each other. But the relationships can be successful by taking totally opposite approach.
If it takes more energy to maintain a relationships, it creates stress. Mostly when things are not going right in a relationships, it becomes source of anxiety. People who are worried about others happiness end up creating more worries to others. Also some people may never be happy so it may be a foolish attempt. If one remains happy without thinking others, somehow helps others to be happy. Some people are not even worried about their relationships, but even worried about other relationships. One friend worried about other two friends relationships, Mothers worried about brothers relationships, husband worried about wife and his mother relationship. This is even more out of control as both the parties are different and their behaviour cannot be changed easily. So better way is to just stop thinking about the betterment of a relationship. Let it grow wild as grass grows wild in jungle. If one tries to maintain garden in backyard, he has to spend time and money to properly maintain it. If the grass is not cut properly, flowers does not blossom perfectly it becomes source of stress. If it is a jungle, there is no worry of maintaining it. If there is wild grass, plants here and there, may be more birds will come and more flowers will blossom.
Relationships cannot be smooth all the times. Sometime it is important to see ups and down to make it stronger. It is better to clear things at right time , rather than waiting too long or considering too much about emotions. It is important to see if any one is misusing or taking advantage of other. If feelings are creeping slowly that you are doing too much in a friendship, treat it is a warning sign. It is a time to communicate. This may result in a feedback to set expectation for both the parties and may be better for long lasting relationship.
In relationships, if one is angry. let him be angry, don’t react too much. Don’t try to do something, just ignore it. If you try to be nice even others are angry, may be you are pampering them too much. In a way, you are helping them to build a behaviour which will keep haunting you in future. If you chase someone relationship desperately, it may elude you more. Let it grow wild. If the relationship does not work out, may be it is not worth maintaining it.
Posted by dsodhi 
